Put your electronic hand up if you’ve ever had your bum smacked on a night out?
What about a dick pic being sent to you out of the blue? Have you ever had someone tell you to sit on their face after only having said “hi” to them?
If I was in a loving relationship and asked for all of these, then HELL YEAH I’D PUT UP MY HAND UP. But fact of the matter is, these are instances that have happened completely unwarranted and unwanted, and unfortunately approximately half of those reading this post right now have been sexually assaulted.
In light of recent Hollywood events, there has been an influx of both Men and Women speaking up about sexual assault.
Harry fucking Weinstein, a pretty talented and successful fella who absolutely knows it. For those that don’t know him, he has probably produced at least one of your favourite films such as Pulp Fiction, Shakespeare in love, The Kings Speech (He also employed an ex-boyfriend of mine at one point in time. )
He’s been accused of at least 4 accounts of sexual assault from some high-profile actresses. These sexual assault claims include rape and inappropriate touching, as well as masturbating in front of them, and making unwanted advances. Basically, he’s an indecent human being.
I’m actually writing this post because I’m flabbergasted that there were so many people who were quick to judge all the victims of the Harry Weinstein allegations.
"Why are they speaking out now?"
"You turned him down...how is that sexual assault?"
"Why are they all coming out at once? How can you believe them?"
……bitch, say what?
So you’re telling me that you would rather someone not say anything at all because it was suppressed and now it’s been a minute?
Let’s think about this real quick, imagine that you’re walking and you see your friends dog, and all of a sudden the dog runs up trying to bite you, but instead it ends up just scratching and scaring you a little. Your friend doesn’t acknowledge anything, it’s just what dogs do. Most people that have met this dog, haven’t had a problem. So you just let it go…
Now, tell me that you don’t get a little panicked when a dog runs up to you. Tell me that a part of you isn’t worried it might bite you.
Let’s jump forward a few weeks, you’re sat with a few friends and one of them speaks up about that damn dog that bit them. Finally! Someone who understands, so you tell them about the one time that dog almost bit you.
Now I used a dog analogy because I saw about 3 whilst I wrote this. But my point is we’re humans, we feel safer knowing we won’t be rejected. If one person speaks up, then you immediately feel comfort before speaking up about it yourself.
We are also impressionable beings, if we go through something traumatic that disrupts our normal mental state, it will effect you.
Let’s get personal…
I didn’t just write #MeToo to be on trend, well maybe a little. I wrote it because I too have fallen victim to sexual assault.
I was 14.
I went to India one summer because we decided to build a holiday home there. As the house was being built, we stayed in the house and monitored the work being done. There were two painters that were working on the inside and the outside of the house. One them about 17, the other about 27. Being a NRI, young and quite fair made me a pretty hot target for a lot of men in the city, I got stares and kiss faces being blown at me on a daily basis – it was just the norm.
One day, I was getting ready in the bathroom and got into the shower. As I turn to wash the shampoo out of my hair I saw both the painters standing on top of a box staring at my naked body. After that day I kept a towel over the window and locked all my doors whilst I showered.
Two days later, as I was sleeping with a sheet over my head (you gotta do that to keep those damn Mosquitoes from eating me alive.) I felt a hand trace my body as they passed. Someone touched me as if they had permission, and as if it had been done before.
The next day, I walked into my room to simply straighten my hair, unknowing if anyone was home. The older painter walked in, he came up to me and said “You have beautiful hair” I replied “thank you.” He then reached his hand out to touch my hair, as he did he caressed my breast. My 14 year old breast. I froze. Once I realized what the fuck was happening I backed up, but unfortunately into a corner. He then came forward and reached under my shirt with his demonizing eyes and when I resisted he pushed me onto the bed.
As petrified as I was, I mustered up some 14 year old strength and kicked the bastard in the balls and ran out of the house as fast I could. I ran straight to the park my brother was playing at and stayed there till sundown – when I knew the painters would be gone for the day.
I never told my mum. I didn’t tell a soul for two years. I felt violated but also ashamed. Maybe my shirt was cut too low for my adolescent b-cups to be out? Maybe If I told someone about the shower, then the almost-being-raped wouldn’t have happened? I also thought, what if he gets angry and tries to actually rape me? What if he comes after my mum? All these thoughts ran through my head.
Two years later, I read an article about a girl that was touched by her brothers friend and she reported him. I felt like she felt, and it gave me the courage to sit my mum down and tell her. 11 years later, I still freak out if I feel something closing in on my neck. I get major anxiety in closed, tight spaces and I’ve been known to pass out in mazes (story for another day). I have certain triggers in relationships, that i’m sure my ex’s can account to. It affected me.
THANK GOD I TOLD SOMEONE. It felt like a million bricks were lifted off my shoulders, and I finally felt like I could be the woman I wanted to be. I could finally feel comfortable in my body, and be proud not scared to show it off once in a while. I don’t regret speaking up at all.
WHATS YOUR POINT?
My point is, it isn’t easy.
It isn’t easy to go through, it isn’t easy to talk about and it isn’t easy to come forward.
Let’s not make it even harder, by making those victims feel small. Also, let’s show little boys and little girls what respect towards each other is. Let’s be role models so that these young impressionable people can grow up to not be indecent pricks like Harry Weinstein or the painter.
If anyone wants to ever talk about something like this – message me, comment, call me. Whatever you need, i’ll listen.
OKAY ENOUGH SADNESS.
Lots of love, Georgina xo